Trying to be happy is as futile as trying to be taller

We are all chasing happiness like it is a destination. Work harder, earn more, find the right person, buy the right things and then finally you will be happy.

But David Lykken and Auke Tellegen had a different view. Trying to be happy is as futile as trying to be taller.

That is a hard thing to read but think about it. Research shows that we all have a happiness set point. A baseline we keep returning to no matter what happens to us. Win the lottery, you feel great for a while then you return to your baseline. Lose something precious, you grieve then slowly you return to your baseline.

We spend our whole lives chasing a feeling that our own biology keeps resetting.

So what do we do with that? Do we stop trying altogether?

Not exactly. The point is not to chase happiness directly. It is to stop making it the goal. Instead focus on meaning. Focus on connection. Focus on doing things that matter to you. Happiness tends to show up as a side effect of that, not as a reward for chasing it.

Stop running after happy. Start building a life that means something to you. The rest has a way of following.